Dreams | Details from Pain

The fire grew this week, stretching past its usual path of destruction and into new territory - young, soft territory that hasn’t had time to grow a thick skin. Coming more quickly than usual, the burns in my chest and stomach feel deeper. Not even the tried and true lines of defense make a difference.

This is a bad day. On a good day, it is manageable. On an average day, it is irritatingly expected. But in a moment like now? Crippling. Today is one for fingerpicking on the ukulele while curled inside a very soft blue blanket.

This came from a week of driving myself, staying up till all hours of the night on stimulating projects with self-imposed deadlines. This came from a lack of care. But now, my body screams in desperation - I can’t keep doing this much.

Fire and all - this is my life. It is a life riddled with pain and contrasting joy - a hurt that makes love’s light grow deeper and stronger. Here is the reason my pain is a gift.

Most people, all people, experience negative effects when they push too hard, work too much, and live beyond their capacity. For me, the reaction is exceptionally strong. On most days, I hate it. On thoughtful days, I realize the gift of having a body very sensitive to stress. What a privilege it is, to react so strongly to living beyond my capacity!

Pain focuses our attention on detail. We don’t live in the big events. We live in the tiny little details. We live in the things of right now.

I’m not interested in a life of money or success, and sometimes I forget that. I am interested in a life of creating meaningful work and cultivating meaningful relationships. And creating and cultivating - those things take care.

Are you listening? Are you learning? And are you living within your capacity? I’m accepting advice.

Article by, Madeline Long